VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts... Alright viewers?

VO: ..with £200 each, a classic car, and a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

I'm on fire - yes!

Sold - going, going, gone.

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

50p!

VO: There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.

Come on then.

VO: So, will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?

Ooh!

Come on, I've got to get to another shop.

VO: This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

On this road trip we've been hitching a ride with a right couple of charmers, antiques experts Mark Stacey and Catherine Southon, as they travel round bonnie Scotland.

MARK (MS): At the moment I like this temperature, and Glasgow is lovely isn't it?

CATHERINE (CS): Oh, I tell you, Glasgow is fabulous in the summer and everyone is so happy.

MS: I know.

VO: With over 25 years' experience in the antiques trade, Mark Stacey's had a very long and successful career in the antiques business.

It just goes on forever, doesn't it?

VO: Catherine Southon has also been at the top of the antiques game for many years, and has lost none of her enthusiasm!

I'm on fire.

Yes!

Woohoo!

VO: Our pair began their journey with £200 each but Mark has already surged into the lead as we head into the second leg.

Catherine scraped a profit and no more at the first auction, giving her just £205 to spend today.

Mark, on the other hand, has made a strong start - so he has a luscious £273.50 to play with.

Mark and Catherine are taking to the road in this lean, green driving machine - a 1968 MG Midget, which so far has been less than reliable.

CS: Can you do me a favor?

MS: Yeah.

Can you try and spend a bit more money this time?

No.

I shall buy the things that I think there's a profit in.

VO: Has anybody noticed that smoke coming out of the back?

Oh dear.

Our traveling antiquarians are cruising the length of Scotland.

They started in the Borders, visiting Glasgow, Dundee, Aberdeen and Elgin, before ending up at an auction in the beautiful capital of Edinburgh.

On this leg they'll start in dear old Glasgow town and end their voyage of discovery at auction in Dundee, clocking up nearly 100 miles along the way.

Ever the competitor, Catherine's decided to set a challenge with Mark for the rest of the road trip.

We have to buy in every leg a dog.

A dog.

A dog?

A dog of some description.

When you mean dog, you mean something of the canine variety?

I do.

Not something that's just very bad?

No.

VO: Glasgow is the largest city in Scotland and was once known as the second city of the British Empire.

Standing on the mighty River Clyde, Glasgow was famous for its illustrious shipbuilding past, and nowadays is recognized as one of the most popular shopping destinations in the country, which sounds like good news for our pair of antique shoppers.

Catherine's dropping Mark off in the city's west end to find out some more about a place which captures the spirit of Scotland.

See you later.

Have fun.

Thank you.

I'm going to.

Pipe a few notes for me.

I'm going to pipe for Scotland.

I'm going to be brave.

Scotland The Brave.

Ooh... VO: Oops, try again Catherine!

We'll catch up with Mark later, but first Catherine's heading out of town, a few miles west to the Renfrewshire village of Kilbarchan, to visit Gardner's Antiques.

This is lovely, we've got a lovely copper bowl and these nice pierced handles with a sort of Celtic design on them.

VO: This two-handled drinking cup is known in Scotland as a quaich and is most commonly made from silver or pewter.

This brass design has a ticket price of £140, which has given Catherine a bit of a dilemma.

I would be foolish to put all my eggs in one basket, wouldn't I?

MUSIC: "Auld Lang Syne" Hmm.

Right... Mark said I was a ditherer and I'm really, really living up to that today.

I am dithering with a capital D. VO: So Catherine's decided to move on empty-handed, but she's making a call to Steve at the auction house in Dundee, to find out exactly what sort of things sell well.

Clever girl.

Right, so small, manageable, decorative, pretty...

Right.

(BAGPIPES PLAY) VO: Meanwhile, back in Glasgow, Mark's visiting The College of Piping.

Established in 1944, it is the international center of world piping, with more than 65 years' experience in teaching Scotland's national instrument.

There's an old saying that it takes seven years to make a piper, so it's good to start early, like these young apprentices.

VO: Though the great Highlands bagpipe is recognized internationally as belonging to the Scots, shepherds up to 3,000 years ago found their goatskin water carriers could provide an air flow into reed pipes to create that distinctive bellow.

Former principal Dugald MacNeill is on hand to tell us more.

Well, these are quite early ones.

That has just been a goat and they have killed the goat, scraped the hair off.

And that's a fixed drone.

The drone is a...

It doesn't change with the music.

The chanter, the music bit, has different notes.

And it's essential that this is tuned to be in tune with the main theme of the chanter.

And this bit is a...?

This is an air reservoir, and so he blows it up, fills it, and then gets it going.

Without the bag, you can't make a very loud instrument.

Right.

Because you... you're... You're trying to use your own lung capacity?

That's right.

VO: The Highlanders did not invent the bagpipe, but they did develop it in three specific ways - making it more powerful, more presentable and, most significantly, adjusted it to suit their fondness for pibroch, a music genre associated with the Great Highland bagpipe.

So they were really the first professional musicians playing a bagpipe, and they developed both the bagpipe and the music they played, and very effectively, and made it really a wonderful instrument, such that now it's virtually the only bagpipe that is played all through the world.

Yes.

Dugald, can I set you bit of a challenge?

Yes.

Do you think you could possibly teach me how to get a note out of a bagpipe?

I'm sure I can.

Really?

Yes.

Let's go.

Have a try shall we?

VO: Oh no!

Is this really a good idea?

Think of the neighbors.

What's the first step then?

Well, the first step is to learn how to finger the chanter.

Right.

And for this we use a practice chanter, which...

This is a practice chanter?

Yes.

So there's no bag or anything.

I'm holding it the right way?

And here is a reed in here, and if you blow it you will hear...

So I just blow.

Just blow.

(LOW-PITCHED PARP) Excellent.

Lift the pinkie.

(PITCH VARIES) DUGALD: Next one.

Now put the pinkie down when you lift that other one... MS: Oh.

DUGALD: ..to play this.

Gosh, you need a lot of puff, don't you?

Let me try...

I'll... Oh, that's not much puff.

Wait till you try the bagpipe.

VO: Oh come on Mark, you're always so full of hot air.

DUGALD: Don't talk, just blow.

(WEAK HUMMING) (STRONG HUMMING) Keep... No, keep the pressure on, don't take it off.

Blow your arm out.

Gosh!

Now increase the pressure a bit.

(HUMMING INTENSIFIES) DUGALD: A bit more.

That's not at all bad - you're not getting the chanter to go though.

No, well give me a chance.

It's a bit harder to get.

(HUMMING) Oh, I'm sorry, Dugald, I'm out of puff.

But thank you for a wonderful visit.

Not at all.

I'm going to hang onto this, cuz I think I need more practice.

OK. VO: So while Mark tries to find his puff, Catherine's made her way back to Glasgow.

Having talked to the auction house, she now has a good understanding of what should sell well at auction.

Next stop is the Ruthven Mews Arcade, home to a host of antiques shops, where Derek's on hand to help.

Can I go and have a look through?

Of course you may.

I'm gonna find some goodies, aren't I?

I hope you do.

Have a good look round.

I want to find lots here today.

OK. VO: Well that is the aim after all, Catherine.

Remember it's small and manageable pieces you're after.

Oh isn't that lovely?

See, you press that down.

Arts and crafts, is it?

And you pick that up and... And then it picks up the cigarette.

I love that.

It is good, it's quite quirky isn't it?

Isn't that lovely?

VO: Catherine's found a pewter cigarette dispenser, featuring a Ruskin-style roundel.

This turn-of-the-century piece was popular when smoking was the height of fashion, but these days it's valued more for its decorative qualities.

Priced at £95, Catherine needs to make a call to its owner, Brian.

Well I, I would say to you that I would go around the £40 mark.

VO: But Brian's a tough cookie and isn't going to let this go cheaply.

Could we come down to 50?

Erm, £70, and we will have a deal?

OK, alright.

Thank you very much.

VO: Oh Catherine - £70!

First item bought but not at the price you were hoping for.

Meanwhile, Mark's arrived at his first shop.

And not to be outdone, he's also phoning the auction house to find out what he should be setting his sights on.

Oh well there's always nice Scottish and provincial silver in the sale, isn't it?

Oh fantastic.

That's really helpful, Steven, actually, thank you very much.

It's given me...

It's given me food for thought.

VO: But before he's in the door, he might have hit a problem.

Oh no, I might be out of luck with my challenge.

VO: Fear not, Mark's no sooner inside the shop than he's found a rather kitsch Italian poodle... Oh crikey, really?

I mean, how horribly revolting is that?

VO: You said it!

MS: (LAUGHS) But I think, you see, with a challenge like this, you've got to really go with the flow, haven't you?

You know, you can't always take it seriously.

I mean, have you ever seen such a wonderfully outrageous piece of pottery?

"Made in Italy", well it would have to be, wouldn't it?

I mean, I just love that.

I mean, look at the face.

VO: But before he gets overexcited, Mark's having a look at what else is on offer.

I love this sort of work.

This was made probably round about 1890 to 1910, that sort of period, and you see all these little dents in the back there?

That is pokerwork, so they use a hot poker to make that pattern, and you've got a doe and a fawn, but aren't they wonderfully moving?

I mean look at the eye.

I mean they're really quite sentimentally done.

VO: Priced at £30, Mark's summonsed John to do a deal at £20.

Seeing you're not everybody... MS: It's a yes?

JOHN: Yes.

Oh John, you're a star.

Thank you so much.

Can you put that on the table?

I certainly will.

And I'll carry on looking.

VO: Ah-ha, Mark's got that glint in his eye again, for a pair of late 19th century duck-egg glaze vases, priced at £100.

If I was putting those into auction...

..I'd certainly put 100-150 on them.

And you know, on a good day, with the wind behind it, they might make a bit more.

Now we're going to a saleroom that's telling me to buy mid-20th-century modern, collectables and provincial silver.

That fits perfectly into none of those categories.

But I still like them.

I still like them a lot, actually.

VO: True to form, he's throwing caution to the wind by following his instinct rather than the auctioneer's suggestions.

He's a brave soul.

I want to go with things that appeal to me, so whatever the auctioneer says, I want to go with things that I think...

I'm really happy with these.

I tell you what I'll do - rather than get my violin out, I'll give you them for £80.

MS: £80?

JOHN: Yes.

I'm going to throw caution to the wind, and if you will let me have the two vases, the plaque and that charming, rare... ..high quality poodle-cum-stray for 100 quid, I'll take them.

Certainly will do, yes.

MS: Are you sure?

JOHN: Positive.

MS: John, you are a star.

JOHN: Pleasure.

Thanks so much, it's been a pleasure meeting you.

VO: So, quick as a flash, Mark has bought three items - an Edwardian pokerwork shield for £20, the vases for £75, and the campest pottery poodle you ever laid eyes on, for £5.

What can you say, eh?

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, Miss Southon, three items in my first shop.

The pressure is off of me.

I hope it is for you too, honest.

VO: Well, not quite.

Catherine's still pondering away... ..this time over a glass hatpin jar with ivory top, priced at £30.

It's rather a nice top on that too.

It's lovely top on that.

There are lots of the glass about like this but they usually lose their top...

They do.

..or they get broken.

That's a really nice top, actually, on that.

That's quite a nice top, yeah.

VO: Ivory is not to everyone's taste but this can still be traded because it was made before 1947.

But once again the item's owner is not in the shop, so Catherine gives Bob a call to discuss a deal.

Thanks Bob, bye.

Oh, he's so nice.

VO: And she's managed to get it for half price at £15.

Lovely.

That's fine.

So it's 15, isn't it?

CS: Yeah.

DEALER: That's fine.

OK, yep.

VO: Catherine's finally getting into the swing of this buying lark, so while she's on a roll, she heads along the lane to Relics, where she's showing interest in Steven's thermometer, priced at £50.

I quite like your Black Forest bear, is it Black Forest?

It looks like it.

It looks like it, yes.

That's quite nice to have the thermometer on that.

DEALER: A little bit different.

VO: Black Forest is a term used to describe the elaborate wood carvings that were traditionally made in the Black Forest region of Bavaria, in Germany.

However, research since has proved that the carvings were actually done in Switzerland.

Well, some of them.

What do you think?

35?

I'd give you 30.

Just because it's you, I'll do it.

Oh!

Is it just because...?

DEALER: It is.

CS: Oh nice, that is lovely.

VO: Wow!

What a busy day of shopping that's been!

Three items each.

Well done, chaps!

Off you go, it's time to get your heads down.

Nighty-night.

VO: Morning, sunshine!

We're on the road again and all is sweetness and light.

Well, sort of.

Oh, you are such an old moanbag.

No, cuz...

I'm not a moanbag.

You are.

VO: Oh dear!

They're at it again.

So far, Catherine has visited four shops and spent £115 on three pieces - an Edwardian glass hatpin jar, a Black Forest bear thermometer and a cigarette dispenser.

She has £90 still to part with.

VO: Mark has also splashed the cash, on his three pieces of bounty.

He bought an Edwardian pokerwork shield, a pair of late 19th century vases and a kitsch 1950s poodle for £100.

So he still has £173.50 to spend accordingly.

Mark and Catherine are leaving city life behind for a while and are heading north, into Stirlingshire, to the town of Falkirk.

MS: Oh, this is very big.

CS: Very grand.

Very me.

I will be so at home here.

MS: Really?

CS: Wonderful.

MS: Mind you, it's like your place, isn't it?

CS: Very much like my house.

MS: It's lovely.

I am rather envious of you.

CS: Good, so you should be.

VO: Mark's dropping Catherine off at Callendar House, so she can learn how to cook up a treat - Georgian style.

Have a good day.

Bye-bye, darling.

Have fun.

CS: See ya.

MS: Bye.

VO: Callendar House dates from the 14th century - though its present form, in the style of a French Renaissance chateau, has only existed since the 19th century.

It houses what it is believed to be one of the oldest working kitchens in Scotland, dating back to 1825, and is the centerpiece of a visit here.

Isobel is on hand to show Catherine round the magnificent Georgian cookhouse.

Wow, the heat just... Phew!

ISOBEL: It just hits you, yeah.

CS: Hits you doesn't it?

This is beautiful.

ISOBEL: The fire at that time was used purely for spit roasting - it served no other purpose.

So is this the original...?

This is the original...?

Part of it has been restored... Aha.

But the bits above, the cogs, wheels there, that's original.

Oh is it?

The canopy, the spit, the doors are original above there.

So what were behind the doors?

Now, it is a mechanical device called a smoke jack, that actually turns the spit, and that's what's positioned behind the black doors at the top there.

VO: Dating back to the 17th century, a smoke jack is a fan, positioned in the narrowest point of the chimney, which would start the spit turning as all the heat and smoke rushed up from the huge fire.

Like many homes of this size, the kitchen would have been at the heart of it all, with scullery maids as young as 13 providing lavish meals for the rich copper merchant William Forbes, and his descendants, who lived here for over 200 years.

CS: I'm very intrigued to know what this is because that is a beautiful shape isn't it?

Yeah, OK...

This is called a bannock spurtle.

Bannock... sp... ISOBEL: Spurtle.

CS: Spur-r-rtle.

Best Scottish accent.

Bannock spurtle - what's a bannock spurtle?

Basically it is like a fish slice.

Ah, OK.

It was used to turn bannocks and oatcakes.

Bannock, what's bannocks?

A bannock is very much like an oatcake, it's made with oats.

VO: And who would want their bannocks to burn?

Ha-ha!

And then of course we have our old recipe book here.

CS: Oh, can I have a look?

ISOBEL: Yep.

This is fabulous.

So is this a recipe book from...?

Is this a local one or is it...?

It's local, yes.

CS: Oh, isn't that lovely?

ISOBEL: Yeah.

CS: Calves' feet jelly.

ISOBEL: Yeah.

That sounds nice, doesn't it?

That was a very popular recipe.

I bet it was.

How wonderful.

A jugged hare.

Lovely.

Oh gosh, some of them...

But it's just...

It's a wonderful... Great to have these authentic recipes, isn't it?

It is indeed.

"To pot a cow's head."

Gosh, it makes your stomach go over, doesn't it, just looking at these?

It has put me right off lunch.

ISOBEL: (CHUCKLES) VO: An interesting selection of recipes indeed, and another of the delicacies eaten at that time was ice cream, and Catherine will be learning how to make a rather interesting version.

Ice cream was invented in China over 2,000 years ago but this rare luxury was first served in Britain in 1672, to King Charles II, at Windsor Castle.

Thanks to stately homes like Callendar House, where entertaining was the order of the day, new ways of cooking spread quickly across the country.

So what have we got here?

Right, OK, first of all we've got cream - very, very expensive.

We've got a jug of cream.

And we have sugar.

Right.

Which perhaps you want to add to the cream.

Lemon juice.

Lovely.

Now, the special ingredient that we have... Parmesan.

Ah, do you know what?

I did smell something funny.

Parmesan.

CS: Oh no, you can't do that.

ISOBEL: So add that to the mix.

Why would you put Parmesan in?

It's just a flavor that they had, they had very diverse flavors of ice cream at that time.

Oh... VO: Blimey, sounds very Heston Blumenthal.

So now we have to add the ice to the ice cream maker, and then put the mixture into the middle of the canister.

OK, right.

So here we have got our bowl of ice and we put salt in with the ice.

CS: Salt in it?

VO: Before the invention of the freezer, ice cream had to be made by mixing ice and salt, which reacted to drop the temperature of the container's contents.

At this time, ice from frozen winter lakes would have been stored in buildings or underground chambers, and would remain frozen for many months by being packed in straw.

The ice cream needs to be churned for several hours, so Isobel has left Catherine to get on with it.

Et voila!

I was hoping we'd have a nice vanilla or a nice chocolate or something.

CS: Parmesan ice cream.

ISOBEL: It's the thickness.

I'm not even gonna smell it.

CS: I'm just going to go in.

ISOBEL: Texture.

Eugh!

VO: Oh crikey, I think it's safe to say Catherine won't be asking for a copy of THAT recipe.

It's been fascinating.

It's been a pleasure.

I've really, really enjoyed myself here.

ISOBEL: Good.

Excellent.

CS: It's been brilliant.

VO: So, as Catherine recovers from that cheesy visit to Callendar House... Mark has made his way 29 miles north to the small town of Callander, often referred to as the Gateway to the Highlands.

It achieved prominence as the setting of the fictional town of Tannoch Brae in the original TV series Dr Finlay's Casebook.

Remember that one?

Ooh, nice shorts, Mark.

You'll give old George Thompson at Lady Kentmores Antiques a run for his money in the style stakes.

MS: Hello.

DEALER: Hi Mark.

MS: George?

DEALER: How're you doing?

I'm very well.

You're looking rather dapper.

You look very summery.

VO: And with the compliments out the way, Mark gets down to the serious business of finding his next lot.

There's a little bargain.

Little Scottish silver brooch, £19.

It's quite fun isn't it?

It's a little brooch.

DEALER: It's silver.

MS: Yes.

VO: Hm, sounds like a perfect piece for the auction, Mark, or is it?

It's a shame it's not hallmarked in Scotland, isn't it?

It just says "silver".

It's got that lovely Celtic design, hasn't it?

It's a bargain at half the price.

Well it would be a bargain at half the price, yes.

We haven't started yet, George.

VO: With just £19 on the ticket, it sounds like Mark really is after a bargain, but he's still looking for one more lot.

And he may have found it, with these early 20th century vases marked at £49.

George, I'd like to talk to you about these.

Yep.

I mean, you call them single stemmed vases and they are eastern, certainly, white metal.

It's quite nice to get a little pair.

Do you think they're Indian or Burmese or something?

Yeah, they come from... That part of the world?

Yep.

Obviously because they have got the Buddha figures around the top.

They're just fun little bits.

They are... You see, I think those are quite nice.

VO: Well Mark, what price does your silver tongue suggest for the brooch and vases?

I really... For a profit, I need to get them for about 30.

I tell you what... Oh no, don't.

I'm thinking 35 - let's toss a coin, 30 or 35.

Don't make my life... Don't make my life any more... Be a gambling man.

I can't, I hate gambling.

MS: Tails.

DEALER: Tails?

Please be tails, please be tails.

Heads.

I told you, I never win.

See?

35.

Deal done.

I need to go home.

Now smile.

That's how you do it you know, Mark.

Yeah.

I bet it was two heads on there.

VO: Sour grapes then, Mark, eh?

So having lost the toss, he's paid £25 for the vases and a tenner for the brooch, but considering he finished shopping with over half his budget still warming his pockets, I'd say he's not had a bad deal.

Meanwhile, having got over her ice cream nightmare, Catherine's made the trip 22 miles north to Doune.

The town of Doune is dominated by the late 14th century castle, and was one of the settings for the 1975 film Monty Python And The Holy Grail.

Do you remember that one?

Searching for her holy grail of profit-making collectables, Catherine is wasting no time searching the cabinets of the Scottish Antiques and Arts Centre.

Informed of her dog challenge, manager Ann has kindly offered her a suggestion.

Well that's nice, isn't it?

A little brass candle box.

That's quite cute.

It's probably Edwardian.

Importantly, there's a little dog on it.

And I think it's a little Scottie, isn't it?

Yes.

With thistles.

By the thistles.

Just check that it has got some age to it and it's not brand-new.

Smells like it has.

VO: Ha!

Catherine, always one to sniff out a bargain.

The ticket price is £24, but what would you like to pay for that?

Couldn't take that down to 20?

That would be a nice round number.

OK, I can do 20 on that.

CS: OK. DEALER: Yep.

VO: Nice work, Catherine.

That's your dog lot sorted.

Oh God, this place goes on forever.

VO: But with time running out, it looks like you'll be making do with four lots at auction.

(EXHALES DEEPLY) I don't really like them but there's a pair of binoculars there in the original case for 28 quid, which is very cheap, but I think they'll make some money.

That's the name of the game.

Binoculars.

Yep.

VO: Does anyone get the feeling this is an impulse buy?

So can we do those at 25?

I will do that at 25, yep.

Are they not damaged?

There you go.

So French.

They're French.

They're in quite a nice skin case, they're a little bit damaged, a little bit dropped.

VO: So that's £25 for the binoculars and £20 for the Edwardian candle box with a Scottie dog motif.

Finally, Catherine is all done with her shopping.

Time to rejoin Mark - our experts now have to reveal all to each other.

Well, almost all.

Don't get excited about this Catherine, please.

CS: (LAUGHS) Isn't it wonderful?

Isn't it absolutely wonderful?

CS: I love that!

MS: It's Italian, 1950s.

CS: Aw!

It's beautiful.

I just thought it is so hideously kitsch, don't you think?

I really love that.

VO: Well, the dog's a hit.

The plaque, I love the... And I was hoping it wasn't TWO DEER.

Oh!

What is it exactly?

It's a plaque, it's a pokerwork plaque for the wall.

CS: Oh it's pokerwork.

MS: Yes.

Oh, lovely.

I mean, look at the lovely deer and the oak leaves.

CS: That's quite nicely done actually, isn't it?

It's beautifully done, and I'm thinking Scottish baronial.

Oh, are you?

No, that's actually quite nice.

How much did that cost you then?

Er... £20.

Oh that was... That wasn't too dear.

Well the dog was quite expensive.

CS: Oh, go on.

Fiver?

MS: Oh no don't, Catherine.

Don't.

How did you know?

And then I've got two lovely vases, gilt metal mounted, the dragons - they were quite a lot.

Were they?

MS: Mm.

CS: How much?

75.

CS: Oh were they?

MS: Mm.

A pair of little colonial silver stem vases there, probably Burmese rather than Indian.

25.

Really cheap.

OK, time now for Mark to pass judgment.

CS: I'm not very happy with anything.

Oh, Catherine, why are you unhappy with these?

I love this.

How clever of you.

It's quite nice isn't it?

I love it, to get a Scottie dog and the thistles.

Well I have to say somebody helped me with that.

Never mind how crude it is - it is lovely.

No, it is quite crude and then we've got Burns's house on the front.

Oh, I love that.

Which is quite nice.

This is fun, the art-deco cigarette case.

It's not art deco, it's arts and crafts.

Oh is it?

Do you not like that?

I do but how much did you pay for it?

80 quid?

Oh no, I paid 70.

That's a lot of money isn't it?

It's a fair whack you know.

I know.

And you went for the soppy Black Forest.

CS: Yes.

MS: Yeah.

It's quite nice to have the thermometer though.

This, £30.

A French racing... binoculars.

How much did you pay?

They were £25.

I know.

It on the money really isn't it?

It is.

Erm...

I don't think that's going to be first past the post.

Anyway, erm...

I think you have the edge.

You're going to beat me.

Well, I don't know.

I love your dog, it's great fun.

I know.

Oh, thank you, but listen, come on.

We've risen to the challenge, haven't we?

Hm.

Come on.

Come and buy me a gin and tonic.

VO: They might well act all nicey-nicey but what do they really think?

The cigarette box isn't quite there for me.

It is a mass-produced arts and crafts piece, rather than a sort of typical Glasgow School piece, and I think she's paid a lot of money really.

My big downfall, my big, big, big sorry mistake, is the dispenser - I should have stuck to my guns.

I didn't want to pay any more than £50 and I paid 70.

That's my mistake and that is going to let me down.

He's going to win this one.

VO: Oh dear, Catherine's not looking forward to it, but it's time to get back on the road and head to auction.

VO: On the second leg of their road trip our doughty duo have shopped their way through Glasgow, Stirlingshire and into Perthshire, starting in Glasgow and ending the second leg of our road trip in Dundee, for the auction.

MS: Are you going to buy me a bit of cake later on?

CS: I knew you were going to say that, Dundee cake.

MS: A bit of Dundee cake.

VO: Dundee is the fourth-largest city in Scotland.

It lies on the north bank of the Firth of Tay, which feeds into the North Sea.

Oh, here we are.

Now don't tell me I don't bring you to the best places.

I'm not...

I'm even less confident than I was 10 minutes ago!

VO: The auction venue today is Curr & Dewar, who have been in business since 1862, so they know their market.

Let's find out what today's auctioneer Steven Dewar thinks of our experts' items.

An interesting mix today.

Er...

I do quite like the pair of vases, I think they are lovely color, nice glazing on them, so hopefully they should do quite well.

The cigarette dispenser, that is a quirky, unusual item.

I quite like the roundel on the front.

Hopefully if it is Ruskin it should do quite well but we'll find out on the day.

VO: Mark Stacey set out on this leg with £273.50 and forked out just £135 of that on his five lots.

Catherine Southon began this leg with a less impressive £205, and was a little more conservative this time, spending £160 on five lots.

And it seems our experts are going into battle as the best of friends.

We rub along nicely, don't we?

CS: We do.

(THEY CHUCKLE) VO: Let's see if Mark's decorative Edwardian panel rubs the buyers up the right way.

Good luck, Mark, cuz this is a nice thing.

Oh come on.

67 - interesting lot.

What will we say, £20?

STEVEN: 10 for it.

MS: (GASPS) Surely folks, £5 only.

Oh, come on.

Five is the wave, at £5 it is now.

Oh, this should do 40.

40, come on.

Eight anywhere?

Surely now.

MS: Oh come on.

Eight, £8 it is.

At £8 on commission, at £8, any advance?

At £8 then, on commission here at £8.

I mean, what can I say, Catherine?

(GAVEL) STEVEN: On commission, thank you.

VO: Looks like Catherine's at a loss for words.

It's a loss to start with, Mark, and will be worse after auction costs.

That was one of my best lots.

It's not looking hopeful, is it?

No, it's not.

VO: Sticking with the Edwardian era, it's Catherine's monogrammed glass hatpin jar up next.

What will we say there, £15?

10?

Ivory top remember.

£5 only for the hatpin case.

What?!

For £5.

Five is there.

At £5 it is.

Lady in the middle at £5 only, eight anywhere?

At £5.

Eight is the wave.

10, 12, 15.

£15.

Right in the center at £15.

Any advance now at £15, folks?

VO: Oh, Dundee is not in love with Edwardian pieces today.

You may have broken even, Catherine, but that's a loss after commission, darling.

It's time for Mark's big purchase now, a pair of late 19th century vases with gilt dragon mounts.

Interest starts me off on these at £25.

At 25 now for the pair of vases, at 28.

30, sir.

30, two, sorry, sir.

35, 35, 38.

It's against you, Mr... Mr High, 40, 40, 42.

42, lady's bid.

At £42, 45 new bidder.

Oh, new bidder.

40, it's against you Mrs Gannon.

48, 50, five, 60.

STEVEN: Five, 70.

CS: There you go.

£70 in the middle.

At £70, lady's bid.

At £70, we are all done.

Another loss.

VO: Oops!

Another loss to add to Mark's woes.

That's it.

I've got no hope now, cuz those were my two best lots up first.

VO: Will Catherine's 1950s French racing binoculars and case give her a run for her money?

And they're off!

20?

£10 to start me off.

£10?

Oh come on.

£10 is bid.

At £10, any advance?

12, 15, 18, £18.

20, the lady.

£20 now, any advance on 20?

I spy with my little eye... Something beginning with L. CS: Loss.

MS: Yes.

VO: Ouch!

Well that was a non runner, and I'm afraid to say it's yet another loss.

Wow, this is heavy going, but can Mark's silver stem vases lift the gloom?

They're small and silver, after all.

Bonnie pair of vases there.

"Bonnie."

What will we say, £30?

Or 20.

£10 to start me off.

10 is bid.

At £10 it is now, at £10 seated.

STEVEN: At £10, anybody else?

CS: Come on.

At £10, 12 here.

15, 18, 18 on commission.

At £18 now, any advance?

On the commission book at £18.

Are you bidding?

VO: Oh crikey, nothing seems to be going right for our experts today.

I mean, the thing is, I know they were small but... they were perfectly formed.

VO: It's Catherine's brass candle box featuring Burns Cottage and a Scottie dog.

It's got plenty of Scottish appeal, so surely this will do well.

Nice little box there, Burns Cottage and Scottie dogs.

£10 only, 10 is bid, 12 the lady, 15.

STEVEN: Surely not.

CS: Come on.

£15 in the middle here, at £15 is seated, 18 new bidder, £18 seated at the back... CS: Come on.

At £18, 20 in the middle.

One more, 22... CS: Yes!

MS: Oh, you've made a profit.

25?

Surely.

Yes.

25, 28, the hand.

No, the head.

CS: Oh!

Oh!

STEVEN: At 28 the hand there.

That's almost a profit!

At 28, it's your very last chance, lady's bid at 28.

(GAVEL) VO: Finally, a profit!

And the marker is set for Mark in the doggie challenge!

First profit of the day.

I know.

That's a pedigree profit as well.

Oh!

Ooh!

VO: The buyers liked the Scottie dog but what will they make of Mark's kitsch 1950s poodle?

Interest on commission this time, starts me off at £22.

Oh, well done.

At £22 for the poodle there, 25, 28, 30.

I told you 30.

35, 38, 40.

Oh this is silly.

45, 48, £48 on commission.

At £48 now, any advance?

That's barking mad, Catherine.

He's a hideous little c... Pooch.

CS: He's not hideous.

(GAVEL) It's barking mad, it's a kitsch little... CS: £48.

MS: £43 profit.

VO: You looked stunned by that, Mark, but that profit's put you in the lead.

Well done.

I'm quite amazed at that, you know.

CS: Well done.

That is good.

MS: I'm amazed at that.

He did look so cute with his little pink bow.

VO: Now, there are obviously some dog lovers in the room, but how will they react to Catherine's Black Forest bear thermometer combo?

For the bear there, what will we say, £20?

10 only?

10 is bid, 12 sir, 15, 18, 20.

£20.

Front and centre.

Oh come on, a bit more than that.

At £20.

Any advance on 20?

22, new bidder.

No, standing at 22.

Standing at 22.

CS: Come on.

STEVEN: Any advance?

Shall we just cry?

That was the BEAR necessity though, wasn't it?

You're cheese today, aren't you?

I think you're gloating, Mark, and it's not pretty.

Tough luck though, Catherine - another deficit puts you back in the red.

Now it's Mark's last lot of the day, his silver brooch with Celtic motif.

Start me off what?

£20.

10 for the Celtic brooch.

Can't tempt you, anybody in?

10 is the wave.

STEVEN: Straight ahead of me... MS: Come on.

Take 12, at £10 the only bid.

At £10 we have.

Take 12 anywhere.

At £10, your last chance.

STEVEN: 12 sir.

MS: Oh.

STEVEN: 15, 18.

(BOTH GASP) £18 to my left.

How... You are so jammy.

18 now.

All done?

It's jam with a capital J. VO: A late flurry gives you a respectable profit there, Mark.

You're not going to be bitter are you?

I'm never bitter.

No, you're often twisted though.

VO: Now, Catherine regretted it.

Mark disliked it.

What will the bidders think of her big purchase, the arts-and-crafts cigarette dispenser?

Only a really decent profit will save Catherine but the way things are going, does she really stand a chance of winning?

What will we say for this, £30?

30 is bid on my right.

At £30 now, interesting lot there at £30.

At £30 it is.

All done for 30.

Two, five, eight.

40, two, five, eight.

50, five.

60, five.

STEVEN: 70, five.

CS: Oh.

Ooh!

80, five, 90, five.

100, 10.

120, 130, 140.

150, 160.

160 is bid.

At 160 on my right, at £160.

That told you, didn't it?

Are you all done?

For £160, are you all done?

(GAVEL) STEVEN: Thank you.

Well done.

I actually can't believe that.

£160!

I thought it was...

I thought it was stopping at £30.

So what did you...?

What did you pay...?

What did you pay for it?

I can't...

I do... VO: Well I never!

You won't regret paying £70 now, Catherine - you've just made a whopping profit of £90.

So bravo!

Anyway, Catherine, I really think you've taken this auction.

CS: It's not... MS: On that note, I'm leaving.

CS: Come on.

MS: Come on, move.

VO: Mark started this leg with £273.50, and after auction costs made a small loss of £2.16, leaving him with £271.34 to take forward.

Oh, do cheer up!

Catherine bounced back in style.

After kicking off this leg with just £205, thanks to her cigarette dispenser she's made a very respectable £40.90 after auction costs, and starts next time with a bumper £245.90, making her today's winner!

Well, well, well.

That was such a surprise.

I suppose I ought to say it, Catherine, and I mean it sincerely - congratulations.

Oh, thank you, Mark.

VO: My, my, we've got a real contest now.

CS: Woo-hey!

Da-da, bye-bye, Dundee.

VO: Next time on the Antiques Road Trip... Mark's got time on his hands... not!

(CRASHING AND RINGING) While Catherine's spooked by some incy-wincy spiders.

Oh David, look at those cobwebs.

DAVID: I know.

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